Friendship notes

Every Sunday after ward prayer we have the opportunity to write and pass friendship notes. Tonight for ward prayer we had to do a spotlight on the guys who live at our house. We decided to share friendship notes "written" to the guys in our house and the anxious crowd had to guess who they were intended for. It was almost slightly amusing. Side note--we had to make these notes into a PG version because the real notes are usually quite crude. Here's a few examples:

Dear (Jon, Assistant Executive Secretary),
I need a Bishop's appointment really, really, really, REALLY bad.

Dear (Rory[me], fooling the ward to think I'm engaged),
I hear your almost engaged, how do you feel about polygamy?

Dear (Gabe),
You look like Rory, only with muscles.

Dear (Carter),
Please leave the ward.
Love,
Brother Prebble (1st Councilor Bishopric[coined the phrase "sphere of influence"])

Dear (Kent),
I hear your girlfriend just got back from her mission, I kind of hope it doesn't work out.

Dear (Ryan),
Who are you? Why have I never seen you?

Dear (Adam),
I understand your brother just got married, Do you want to be next?

Dear (Jacob),
I hear you speak french, do you kiss french too?

(Carter),
You're the second creepiest boy in your house.

Dear (Dane),
Your facebook profile is really inappropriate.

Dear (Sam),
When I saw you riding your girl bike with your long hair I thought you were a girl, are you?